So it’s been almost 3 months since I started working full time after more than 22 years. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been sitting on my butt relaxing at home all these years. I worked part time in our school district for the past 9 years while also playing chauffeur, maid, referee, chef….

Ok, if I’m being honest the chef part is kind of a joke…I don’t really cook all that much anymore. Partly because I don’t think I’m good at it and partly because when I do cook, nobody really eats it—which, now that I think about it, could be because of the first reason.. and maybe partly because this one’s going out or that one’s working…. I don’t enjoy cooking anymore. I think I lost my confidence when Mike was diagnosed with Celiac and my whole cooking process had to be changed and adjusted. It was tough back then-he was 4. Even though he is away at college now, I mostly only cook stuff that is gluten free. It’s just not very often anymore.

While we are on this honesty kick, the maid part is kind of a stretch too. My house looks like someone broke in and was looking for something, you know, that ransacked look. Ok, maybe not that bad, but bad none the less. I kind of gave up after dog number 3 when I lost the battle of the dog hair. I’m working on taking my house back. It’s a slow and painful process but I’m determined. Kind of..

The getting out early thing shouldn’t be a problem for me since I have been getting up way too early since Michael was a baby. It just worked for me so I stuck with it. I liked having my laundry all done and folded before 9 am and having the whole day to do whatever else I had to do. The quiet cup of coffee by myself was pretty nice too. I struggle to get out of the house every day now even with my early wake-up. I’m not sure why. I guess I just have my routine set after all these years and it is pretty hard for me to break it. I’m always rushing when it’s time for me to leave. Maybe someday I’ll get the hang of it or figure out how to streamline my morning routine. Maybe someday…..

The thing that probably bothers me the most about working full time is that there are days when my dogs are in their crates for 6-7 hours straight. This is unacceptable to me and yet unavoidable right now. I can’t make eye contact with them when I leave because it breaks my heart. They literally look so sad…. ugh, it kills me.

I have a good amount of down-time at this job, which is why I have time to do this I guess, but it also makes the day feel like it will go on forever. When I’m busy, it’s cool, but when I’m not, it’s brutal. It can be mind numbingly boring, but the extra money is good and the benefits are great. So here I am.

So anyway, I am still adjusting to this whole thing. When I get home I am completely overwhelmed by what I should do but won’t, what I want to do but can’t…. hopefully this will get better soon. I go into every weekend thinking I’ll accomplish so much and then I blink and it’s Sunday night and my damn list of things to do is still full of things that are not done…..I hate that. I just ordered some pretty daily  ” To Do” list pads and a menu planner pad to try to help me get organized and just get my crap together. This should be interesting. I’ll let you know how that goes….

Well, that’s all for now. Stay warm and stay well…

Candidly,

Donna