“You’re at that age”…..  This lovely little sentence was directed at me just a few short years ago by a doctor who thought my sudden intense pain could be gall stones. It wasn’t. I am happy to say that I had enough self control to not punch him in the throat when he said it. I think my actual reply was something like, “I’m sorry, what?!”

Once my mini crisis was over, I got to thinking about what he said and boy, was I pissed. Not at him necessarily, just pissed. I got old. How did that happen? When did that happen??!! I mean, he was right. I was suddenly at that age where things start happening. Bad things. Annoying things. Take my eyesight, for example. I now have reading glasses everywhere. I bought a bunch of them and keep them in my truck, on my night table, in the bathroom (because nobody can argue that the writing on shampoo bottles is big enough to see, right?),  in my desk at work, on the counter in the kitchen, in my handbag….. you get the picture. The first time I took them out in a restaurant my kids thoroughly enjoyed making fun of me. It was dark in there!

I should also mention that if I drop something now, I whimper a little bit because I just don’t want to bend to pick it up. And my thumb hurts. I think I hurt it at work months ago. Thought it was ok but it still hurts sporadically depending on what I am doing. Is that an injury? Arthritis?!!! My knees suck too. One day recently, my knee just decided to hurt. A lot. I could barely walk on it for a few hours. Want to know how I hurt it? Yea, me too. I have no idea. I was standing at a counter at work and twisted around a little to see something and BAM! What the hell??!! Is this the way it’s going to be now? Did I mention that intense sneezes or coughs terrify me now too…..I won’t get into why, but I think most of you can probably figure it out…

So, what have we learned today?  We have learned that getting old sucks and that I am old and falling apart. If you aren’t there yet, don’t worry, you will be soon. And when you are, I’ll be waiting for you with an extra pair of readers for you to borrow til you can get your own….

Candidly, and a little depressed now,

Donna