What is Resting Bitch Face? And do I have it?? By definition, and yes, I googled it, resting bitch face is “a facial expression that unintentionally appears like a person is angry, annoyed, irritated or contemptuous, particularly when the individual is relaxed, resting, or not expressing any particular emotion.” It goes on to say that the concept has actually been studied by psychologists and scientists who have found that it is, in fact, real and is as common in men as it is in women, regardless of the “bitch” female connotation.

So I joke about having resting bitch face all the time, but it actually bothers me. A lot. I try to be conscious of it when I am in public, but I am not always successful. I might do a little more research into why some people have this, but, in all honesty, it’s not that high on my priority list at the moment. I do find stuff like this fascinating though, so maybe…..

Years ago, when my kids were little, I went food shopping alone. Like a vacation, right? I despise food shopping now. Hate it, hate it, hate it, so I just don’t do it. I digress… Anyway, I was slowly meandering up and down each isle, lost in my own world, when an old man said to me, “I bet you’re even prettier when you smile”. The comment took me by surprise and I immediately smiled at him. I mean, he did just call me pretty, right? Well, kind of, I guess, and he was a cute little old man. He then announced, “I was right!”, with a big grin. I didn’t think too much of it back then. I figured he just saw a young, exhausted mother of 3 finally escaping for a bit, lost in her own thoughts and wandering around a supermarket. I had never heard of resting bitch face at that point, so now I wonder……

I don’t think of myself as a bitch. For the most part, anyway. I could certainly be one. Oh yes, most definitely. Ask around. Generally, I don’t think I look like a bitch when I smile or am talking to someone. Unless, of course, it’s my passive aggressive smirky smile…. I won’t deny I use that one occasionally. That being said, I have caught quick glimpses of myself in the mirror that have had me literally say out loud, “holy crap, what’s with this face.” Seriously.

This is what I think. For me, anyway.

I am a thinker. A dweller. A worrier….oh, the worrying. My brain is constantly going, from one thing to the next. It does not rest easily. I have probably always been this way, but once I had kids, it went into overdrive. Big time. Whether I’m thinking about everything I want to do at home, or at work, or I’m worrying and stressing about one of my kids, my husband, the dogs…whatever. It’s always something. I can’t get away.

I won’t say that it is debilitating by any means, but I think that is why I have this super pleasant look on my face when I am not directly interacting with someone. I’m literally somewhere else. Trying to figure out what to do next. How to handle a situation. Replaying a conversation over in my head. Whatever it may be. Something. Anything. Always.

So, if you see me around and I look like I’m pissed off or cranky, chances are I actually am pissed off or cranky, or….. maybe I’m just thinking….

Thanks for indulging me…

Donna