So 2018 is about to end and I’m feeling very reflective. As I think back on this year and all that has passed, I’m left with many emotions: happiness, sadness, excitement, awe, fear….

Nicole has completed her first semester of Law School, Michael has finished his first semester at Fordham on a pre-med path and Dana has decided she may want to pursue a career in Computer Science. Not too shabby. To say I am proud is an absolute understatement. My heart is full whenever I think of these amazing kids and all they’ve accomplished so far. I am actually in awe of them.

I started a new job-the jury is still out on how I feel about working full time after 22 years of, well, not working full time. Perhaps a separate blog post on this subject is warranted. I’ll see.  I miss all my friends at my previous job. I’m out of the loop now, so to speak, but that’s not always a bad thing I guess…?

My grandmother turned 99 this year. She is now living in a nursing home. I try to see her and call her as often as I can. She is amazing. The sad reality is that the time is coming when I won’t be able to call her and have her crack me up like she still does at 99. I know it’s coming and I also know I am not prepared for it. Without getting into details, she has been my rock for the past 10-15 years. My confidant, my biggest cheerleader, my sounding board, my reality check and the one person in this world who loves me unconditionally–besides my dogs, of course.

Certain things that I had hoped would be resolved this year have not been. One particular situation just makes me sad and the other is so extremely frustrating that it sometimes gets the best of me. I am, however, still hopeful that things will get better, that 2019 will be THE YEAR.

So as we approach this brand new year, my wish for all of us is that we start the year with hope and some semblance of peace in our hearts. It is a fresh start, no resolutions needed. Just be. Be happy. Be kind. Be strong. Be hopeful. Be the best person you can be.

May we all have a Happy and Healthy New Year and may this be our best year yet!

Thank you so much for reading…..

Candidly, and with love and hope today and every day,

Donna

 

 

I have learned many things in the past 51 years. Some useful, some useless. Some good, some not so good. This is just a sampling of some…

• Time certainly does fly. Yesterday I was carrying 2 of my kids up and down the stairs, one in each arm. Today 2 of my kids are in college. That’s just crazy. And depressing.
• You can not force people to love you or to think of you. There comes a time when you must walk away. I saw a quote once that said something like: Stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t even step over a puddle for you…
• Dogs are therapy. I was never a dog person. Now I have 3. Not really sure how that happened. They are a lot of work and they make me crazy but any time I sit on the couch and they are next to or on me, I can literally feel the stress or sadness or whatever actually leave my body. There are few things I’d rather do than hang out with them. Honestly.
• Accepting things you can not change is hard. I struggle with this every single day. That’s all I’ll say on that one…..
• Having kids who enjoy being with each other and with you is the best thing ever. My house is sometimes crazy but there is always laughter. That’s probably because my kids all have a bizarre sense of humor like their father. He did promise he’d always make me laugh when we first got married. He hasn’t disappointed…
• Being a mother is so much harder than I ever imagined it would be. I often feel inadequate and unsure, but my kids seem to have turned out pretty damn good so…..
• Driving a Mustang GT is fun. It just is… Driving a Challenger is pretty fun too…
• A girl should ALWAYS be able to support herself. I’ve seen way too many women who found themselves suddenly single, whether through divorce or the unthinkable, and are left with next to nothing and no way to survive on their own. I drum this into my daughters’ heads whenever I can……I think it’s working.
• Diamonds are definitely not a girl’s best friend, but they sure are pretty and sparkly…and I LOVE sparkly….
• Everyone has ‘something’ they are dealing with. I try to remember that before I judge someone. It’s not always easy to do, but it’s super important to remember. I wish the world was just nicer…

Well, that’s all for now. This is getting too long.

Thanks for reading….

Candidly,

Donna

 

 

A mom’s job is to take care of the kids, right? To make sure they are fed, clothed, healthy, loved. You bear the responsibility of making sure your kids are happy and healthy, right? This is somewhat instinctual–at least I think so–but not always easy. When your child is sick, you take them to the doctor. Simple usually. You hear it’s viral, it’s strep, an ear infection, allergies, etc. Sometimes they get some medicine and within a day or two-or 5-they feel better, which, of course, makes you feel better. As hard as it is to see your babies in pain or just not feeling well, you know it will pass and all will be well. You use it as an excuse to just snuggle with them and love them even more, because a mother’s love can fix just about anything. Until it can’t.

When your child is diagnosed with a chronic illness or disease, the game totally changes. Nothing is ever the same. You can be thankful that it is not a fatal illness because when you can really stop to think about it, it could be so much worse. You know that. Well, your brain knows that. Your heart is another story. Life goes on, things are good and then they aren’t. It’s a constant roller coaster. You are no longer in control of your child’s health. You can no longer fix it. You feel hopeful at times and hopeless and useless at others. You live in constant fear that something will happen: a flare up, another procedure, another hospital stay…. Constant fear. Always. And so you put on that calm, mom face everyday and never show those around you how truly scared you are all the time. You are upbeat and encouraging on the outside and only let your fear out when you are alone. It is what it is. And you go on, praying every day that things will be ok and that one day they will find a cure…..

And that, my friends, is a mom’s job…

Thanks for reading.

Candidly,

Donna

 

I recently decided I wanted to give this whole blog thing a try. Not sure what makes me think anyone would want to read what I write, but I like to write so why not? I am a 51 year old mom of 3 with an accounting degree who now works in a college library. Sounds exciting, no? My kids are 22, 18 and 16 and they are awesome…..mostly. I also have a husband/4th child and 3 crazy dogs with whom I’d rather hang out more than pretty much anyone else.

My plan is to write about my experiences as a mom, both ups and downs, my work experiences and anything else that pops into my mind. I may review books, products etc. Who knows? Clearly not me. This is all new to me so I’m just going to wing it and see what happens. As the name of this blog suggests, I will be very candid, sometimes too much so but hey, why sugar coat life, right? My hope is that some posts make you laugh, think, or maybe even cry.  That is life and that is what I will be writing about mostly. I don’t know how often I will post. Again, I’ll figure that out as I go and I’ll do my best to keep each post relatively brief so I don’t take up too much of your time.

Thanks for reading…..if anyone actually did…

Candidly,

Donna