Tag: family

FEBRUARY

FEBRUARY

by dmoss2 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

February – the shortest month of the year, and yet the most significant month for me.

February is the month all 3 of my kids were born. Weird, right? First one at the very end, the day that only exists every 4 years, one in the middle of the month, and the youngest at the beginning. Definitely weird.

February has always been about celebrating my kids. How they’ve grown and changed – the physical changes, the style changes, the personality changes – celebrating the wonder that was each of them. And the parties – oh, how many birthday parties there were over the years.

February was always an exciting yet exhausting month. I loved picking out gifts for each of them, always knowing what they liked and what they would want. I didn’t care so much for the actual party planning though. It was pretty stressful planning 3 different parties for 3 very different kids with different party ideas….and a family party as well. At least there was only 1 of those – with 3 different cakes, of course! OMG-how did I survive those years?! It was a lot, but watching them at these parties, having so much fun with their friends was a huge payoff for me and made every stressful second worth it. It’s what mom do, I guess.

The years have passed so very quickly and they are all young adults now, doing their thing, reaching their goals, living their lives…

February is no longer the crazy busy stressful month it used to be when they were little. I still love buying them gifts, though it’s not as easy to figure out what they would want now. I usually have to ask them, but I can usually come up with a few things on my own still.

The parties have quietly morphed into a nice dinner out, though sometimes it is not all of us. I don’t like that. At all..

The feelings are the same for me. I marvel at their growth – personal, educational and professional. I am awed by their accomplishments. I am deeply moved by the way they love each other – it is what I’ve always wished for them. Mostly, I am so incredibly proud to be their mom and so grateful to God for finding me worthy of that honor.

February – the most special month of the year – forever.

Happy Birthday, my loves – I love you so much more than you could ever imagine…

I Never Knew..

I Never Knew..

by dmoss2 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I never knew how hard motherhood would be.

It’s hard. Really hard.

When your baby is sick, you feel helpless. You want to fix it, and most times you can. A visit to the pediatrician, some extra love…

When your toddler gets hurt, you feel helpless. You want to fix it, and again, most times you can. Sometimes just a bandaid and a kiss is all it takes.

Sometimes you can’t fix it. Not completely. Those times weigh heavy on your heart. Motherhood sometimes feels impossible.

You think when they are older, motherhood will get easier. You are a fool.

Motherhood never gets easier.

When your kids are older, well…these are the times that will literally bring you to your knees.

Every hurt, every heartbreak, every disappointment hits you square in the heart. You feel it all. When they are stressed, you wake up with a heaviness on your chest that won’t let up.

Is it just me? Am I different than other moms? I don’t know, though I don’t think so.

You love beyond measure so you feel it all….way too much? Is that it? You pray constantly for them. For God to keep them safe, to look out for them when you can’t.

Motherhood is hard. So incredibly hard.

I never knew…

The Empty Room

The Empty Room

by dmoss2 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

There is a moment that comes when you realize that one of the rooms in your home where your son used to be, will most likely be just a temporary pit-stop from here on out. That moment is a gut punch. Simply put, it is not ok.

It is inevitable and it is right. It’s what we work so hard for, what we want them to do – to fly, to soar – but, oh man, it kinda sucks. Big time.

Recently one of my girls said the unimaginable truth out loud – you do realize that he will probably never live here again, right? Yikes. That stung.

I covered my ears so I couldn’t hear more, but it hit the mark.

I know it’s true. In fact, we just moved him into his second apartment since he started med school and I think he will most likely be there for quite a while. He’s only a state away, which is great, but in all likelihood he will be making a life for himself there in the future. Or somewhere else – but obviously not here.

I am incredibly proud and excited for him, but, oh, that empty room.

That room brings me back in time, to little kid times. The little boy things that were all over that room. Some of the “kid” stuff is still in his closet, waiting for us to go through and see what he wants to keep and what to get rid of.

I keep thinking about doing it, but I haven’t yet. He’s been in an apartment for two years already, and I’m still stalling. My excuse…… he still comes home often so he needs his room, right? He was just home for a rare week off and my mama heart was beyond happy.

I will do it soon. I promise.

But oh man, that empty room…it does something to a mama’s heart…

For What It’s Worth..

For What It’s Worth..

by dmoss2 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Advice to young moms, from an old mom…

Being a mom is the hardest thing you will ever do…be gentle with yourself. There will be days where you will think – ok, I got this. There will be days when you get into bed at night and think – what the hell was THAT?!

You can’t possibly do it all – the laundry, that is. There might be 10 minutes where your laundry is all done, folded and put away. 10 minutes. If you’re lucky. And you’ll feel invincible for those 10 minutes, until, suddenly, someone pukes or a diaper explodes…

They will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. Hilarious. That would have been lovely. I cleaned when the baby slept. Sometimes I would clean at night, when the baby slept. I’d do anything to have that kind of energy now! Oddly enough, my house was the cleanest it’s ever been when my kids were little. Now? Not so much. I was eventually defeated by 3 kids and 4 dogs and a full-time job. I gave up that fight…

When your kids start sports, dance, karate, etc., you will become a chauffeur. You will be their biggest cheerleader. You might, like me, be that crazy lady screaming on the sidelines, much to your own surprise. You will be exhausted. So so exhausted. You will dream of the day when things slow down and you don’t have to drive all over to watch your kids play whatever sport is in season or this year’s dance rehearsals and recitals. But….. you will miss it. You will miss it all. Believe me when I tell you this. It may be hard to believe when you are in the thick of it, but… You. Will. Miss. It.

When your kid gets her license and drives away alone for the first time, your heart will literally stop until they let you know they have arrived safely. This is true with each kid, if you have more than one. Same feeling, each time.

Oh my goodness, when that first kid leaves for college, you will feel, well, a lot of things. Excitement, terror, sadness, pride. All at once and at levels you cannot imagine. The dynamic in your house changes. It just does. Some people will not feel the same as you do, and that’s ok. Remember that.

My kids are all in their 20’s now. All doing their thing, making things happen, working on their goals. They are amazing people, making us proud every day. They love each other and seek each other out to spend time together, which means we have had success as parents. That is an amazing feeling, and yet….. this old mom would go back to the beginning in a heartbeat to do it all over again.

So, for what it’s worth, savor it all. The good, the bad and the ugly, because in reality, it is all beautiful.

Until next time…