Tag: family

I Never Knew..

I Never Knew..

by dmoss2 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I never knew how hard motherhood would be.

It’s hard. Really hard.

When your baby is sick, you feel helpless. You want to fix it, and most times you can. A visit to the pediatrician, some extra love…

When your toddler gets hurt, you feel helpless. You want to fix it, and again, most times you can. Sometimes just a bandaid and a kiss is all it takes.

Sometimes you can’t fix it. Not completely. Those times weigh heavy on your heart. Motherhood sometimes feels impossible.

You think when they are older, motherhood will get easier. You are a fool.

Motherhood never gets easier.

When your kids are older, well…these are the times that will literally bring you to your knees.

Every hurt, every heartbreak, every disappointment hits you square in the heart. You feel it all. When they are stressed, you wake up with a heaviness on your chest that won’t let up.

Is it just me? Am I different than other moms? I don’t know, though I don’t think so.

You love beyond measure so you feel it all….way too much? Is that it? You pray constantly for them. For God to keep them safe, to look out for them when you can’t.

Motherhood is hard. So incredibly hard.

I never knew…

The Empty Room

The Empty Room

by dmoss2 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

There is a moment that comes when you realize that one of the rooms in your home where your son used to be, will most likely be just a temporary pit-stop from here on out. That moment is a gut punch. Simply put, it is not ok.

It is inevitable and it is right. It’s what we work so hard for, what we want them to do – to fly, to soar – but, oh man, it kinda sucks. Big time.

Recently one of my girls said the unimaginable truth out loud – you do realize that he will probably never live here again, right? Yikes. That stung.

I covered my ears so I couldn’t hear more, but it hit the mark.

I know it’s true. In fact, we just moved him into his second apartment since he started med school and I think he will most likely be there for quite a while. He’s only a state away, which is great, but in all likelihood he will be making a life for himself there in the future. Or somewhere else – but obviously not here.

I am incredibly proud and excited for him, but, oh, that empty room.

That room brings me back in time, to little kid times. The little boy things that were all over that room. Some of the “kid” stuff is still in his closet, waiting for us to go through and see what he wants to keep and what to get rid of.

I keep thinking about doing it, but I haven’t yet. He’s been in an apartment for two years already, and I’m still stalling. My excuse…… he still comes home often so he needs his room, right? He was just home for a rare week off and my mama heart was beyond happy.

I will do it soon. I promise.

But oh man, that empty room…it does something to a mama’s heart…

For What It’s Worth..

For What It’s Worth..

by dmoss2 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Advice to young moms, from an old mom…

Being a mom is the hardest thing you will ever do…be gentle with yourself. There will be days where you will think – ok, I got this. There will be days when you get into bed at night and think – what the hell was THAT?!

You can’t possibly do it all – the laundry, that is. There might be 10 minutes where your laundry is all done, folded and put away. 10 minutes. If you’re lucky. And you’ll feel invincible for those 10 minutes, until, suddenly, someone pukes or a diaper explodes…

They will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. Hilarious. That would have been lovely. I cleaned when the baby slept. Sometimes I would clean at night, when the baby slept. I’d do anything to have that kind of energy now! Oddly enough, my house was the cleanest it’s ever been when my kids were little. Now? Not so much. I was eventually defeated by 3 kids and 4 dogs and a full-time job. I gave up that fight…

When your kids start sports, dance, karate, etc., you will become a chauffeur. You will be their biggest cheerleader. You might, like me, be that crazy lady screaming on the sidelines, much to your own surprise. You will be exhausted. So so exhausted. You will dream of the day when things slow down and you don’t have to drive all over to watch your kids play whatever sport is in season or this year’s dance rehearsals and recitals. But….. you will miss it. You will miss it all. Believe me when I tell you this. It may be hard to believe when you are in the thick of it, but… You. Will. Miss. It.

When your kid gets her license and drives away alone for the first time, your heart will literally stop until they let you know they have arrived safely. This is true with each kid, if you have more than one. Same feeling, each time.

Oh my goodness, when that first kid leaves for college, you will feel, well, a lot of things. Excitement, terror, sadness, pride. All at once and at levels you cannot imagine. The dynamic in your house changes. It just does. Some people will not feel the same as you do, and that’s ok. Remember that.

My kids are all in their 20’s now. All doing their thing, making things happen, working on their goals. They are amazing people, making us proud every day. They love each other and seek each other out to spend time together, which means we have had success as parents. That is an amazing feeling, and yet….. this old mom would go back to the beginning in a heartbeat to do it all over again.

So, for what it’s worth, savor it all. The good, the bad and the ugly, because in reality, it is all beautiful.

Until next time…