Everybody has favorites, right? Favorite song, favorite color, favorite restaurant, favorite movie, favorite television show, etc….. Harmless enough, right? Of course.

What about a favorite child? Favorite grandchild? Not so harmless, in my opinion. I’ve lived it, I’ve witnessed it. It has a lasting effect. It really does.

It would be naive to suggest that it’s not possible to have a favorite child or grandchild. I can even understand it to some degree. I don’t get it, personally, and I can honestly say that I do not feel it. At all. Contrary to what my kids might think at times, I love them equally, deeply and without condition and yet maybe slightly differently.

Every child is different. Every child’s needs are different, and so you might have to love them differently. That doesn’t mean less or more than another child. At all.

I am willing to accept that a parent or grandparent might feel a closer bond to one child over another. The harm comes when that parent or grandparent blatantly shows their favoritism with no regard to how the other child or children will feel. And believe me when I tell you, it is not about gifts given or money spent, it is about how you make them feel. Kids are so much more perceptive than you might think. They can feel it, or not feel it, as the case may be..

Think about it for a moment or two. A child, a teenager, a young adult even, feeling they are somehow less lovable than their siblings or cousins…. Just think about that. Think of yourself feeling that way, your child, your grandchild. If that doesn’t piss you off and disgust you….well, I don’t even know what else to say.

I’d like to think that people who do this are unaware they are doing it. I’d really like to believe that. If I’m honest though, I have to say that I don’t really believe it.

Think about what you say, what you do. Think about how your actions, your behavior, might make someone you love feel. Think about it, and do better.

Until next time,

Donna