FEBRUARY

FEBRUARY

February – the shortest month of the year, and yet the most significant month for me.

February is the month all 3 of my kids were born. Weird, right? First one at the very end, the day that only exists every 4 years, one in the middle of the month, and the youngest at the beginning. Definitely weird.

February has always been about celebrating my kids. How they’ve grown and changed – the physical changes, the style changes, the personality changes – celebrating the wonder that was each of them. And the parties – oh, how many birthday parties there were over the years.

February was always an exciting yet exhausting month. I loved picking out gifts for each of them, always knowing what they liked and what they would want. I didn’t care so much for the actual party planning though. It was pretty stressful planning 3 different parties for 3 very different kids with different party ideas….and a family party as well. At least there was only 1 of those – with 3 different cakes, of course! OMG-how did I survive those years?! It was a lot, but watching them at these parties, having so much fun with their friends was a huge payoff for me and made every stressful second worth it. It’s what mom do, I guess.

The years have passed so very quickly and they are all young adults now, doing their thing, reaching their goals, living their lives…

February is no longer the crazy busy stressful month it used to be when they were little. I still love buying them gifts, though it’s not as easy to figure out what they would want now. I usually have to ask them, but I can usually come up with a few things on my own still.

The parties have quietly morphed into a nice dinner out, though sometimes it is not all of us. I don’t like that. At all..

The feelings are the same for me. I marvel at their growth – personal, educational and professional. I am awed by their accomplishments. I am deeply moved by the way they love each other – it is what I’ve always wished for them. Mostly, I am so incredibly proud to be their mom and so grateful to God for finding me worthy of that honor.

February – the most special month of the year – forever.

Happy Birthday, my loves – I love you so much more than you could ever imagine…

The Empty Room

The Empty Room

There is a moment that comes when you realize that one of the rooms in your home where your son used to be, will most likely be just a temporary pit-stop from here on out. That moment is a gut punch. Simply put, it is not ok.

It is inevitable and it is right. It’s what we work so hard for, what we want them to do – to fly, to soar – but, oh man, it kinda sucks. Big time.

Recently one of my girls said the unimaginable truth out loud – you do realize that he will probably never live here again, right? Yikes. That stung.

I covered my ears so I couldn’t hear more, but it hit the mark.

I know it’s true. In fact, we just moved him into his second apartment since he started med school and I think he will most likely be there for quite a while. He’s only a state away, which is great, but in all likelihood he will be making a life for himself there in the future. Or somewhere else – but obviously not here.

I am incredibly proud and excited for him, but, oh, that empty room.

That room brings me back in time, to little kid times. The little boy things that were all over that room. Some of the “kid” stuff is still in his closet, waiting for us to go through and see what he wants to keep and what to get rid of.

I keep thinking about doing it, but I haven’t yet. He’s been in an apartment for two years already, and I’m still stalling. My excuse…… he still comes home often so he needs his room, right? He was just home for a rare week off and my mama heart was beyond happy.

I will do it soon. I promise.

But oh man, that empty room…it does something to a mama’s heart…

What is Love?

What is Love?

How do you define Love? Is it passion? Lust? Comfort? Companionship? Contentment? Sometimes it is all that and more, right? After almost 30 years of marriage, here are some random things I have learned about Love….

Love is saying “be careful” not only when it’s nasty out…

Love is sharing a funny memory that makes you both laugh, a lot, but nobody else gets it…

Love is clearing the snow off of all of our cars when he leaves for work…

Love is locating and going out to purchase a rechargeable heating pad that I could take with me in the car on a trip I was leaving for in an hour..

Love is working tirelessly, day in and day out, so that your children can realize their dreams..

Love is sharing the pride and the joy and the excitement when those dreams are, in fact, realized…

Love is always taking the lead and doing the hard stuff when I just can’t deal…

Love is filling my car with gas because I really just hate doing it…

Love is getting that cinnamon raisin bagel for me without me asking because he knows I really like them..

Love is holding me up when grief overwhelms..

Love is trying to convince me I’m beautiful when I feel anything but…

Love is buying me something that I mentioned wanting, once, and then forgot about..

Love is letting me be ME and sticking around anyway…….

If you have Love like this, then you are pretty damn lucky – like me…

Happy Valentine’s Day..